Hania -- χανια

Our boat got into port at Chania/Hania/Xania at 6am. Damn! That's early, Chester. We got off the boat at 6:25am (all the while wondering just how long we were allowed to stay on board). Xania was actually about 20min away from the port, and the guidebook said to wait for the bus that would take us to the center of town. Wait we did, along with an old gentleman that I'm almost positive is no longer with us. I don't believe I've ever heard a worse smoker's / tuberculosis cough. It was quite disturbing to be in the bus stop house with him.

I wish the bus had come right away, but it was late enough to make us wonder if it was running that day. It was just us two and the dead guy. Everyone one else had parked their car near the port and drove away (without us, again, just like Aegina. Bastards!). But mercifully the bus came, we boarded, and rode into Hania. We weren't really sure where to get off, but when 90% of the people got off at what appeared to be a central-ish part of town, we joined them. And there we were!

As it was ~6:45am and absolutely nothing was open, we located our hotel, and sat there. Lin-Wei was able to find a pastry shop that was just opening, and the nice lady there hooked us up with pastries and drinks. At 8:00am we checked again, and it all fell into place. The lady proprietor said that we could check into our room now, and we'd be able to stay the extra night like we wanted. That done, we explored the town for the rest of the day.

First we went to the tourist bureau, to get info on the Samarian gorge. World-famous for it's hiking, the Samarian gorge was an all day trip. First, we were told, you take a harrowing bus ride through the mountains for 2 hours, after which you are deposited at the top of the mountains at the trail head of the gorge. Next, you hike for 3-5 hours down the gorge until you get to the ocean. Next, to get back, you first take a ferry to another city on the south coast of Crete, and then take another harrowing bus ride back to Hania. Then you collapse in exhaustion. Amen.

That's the info we got at the tourist bureau. Next, we got our bus tickets for the next day. Then we kicked it Hania style. Hania also had a lot of Venetian fortress architecture that we checked out. It also had a lot of dogs laying in the street. One of the more annoying aspects of Greece is the concept of the restaurant wrangler. Every restaurant hires 1-3 "wranglers" who wait outside their restaurants and accost the tourist as they go by. Every place has a menu outside, and though you do want to look it over to see if there is food you like, as soon as you do the wranglers are upon you! It is very hard to defend against them, for the following reasons:

You are hungry, so you really want to eat as soon as possible. But you want to find a place with good food. So they...
Point out the menu, and all the awesome deals. You start to feel guilty and feel like you should eat there, now that you are friends.
They (the wranglers) start sucking your soul away. You start to figure you won't find anything else better. So you end up eating at the first place you see. Dammit!

The Wrangler, on the right, and the Wranglees, on the left

It's so fricking annoying, man. So many times we ended up getting half a look at a menu, only to run to the next place when we saw the wranglers descending upon us. It is very stressful. But most times we lost. We ended up eating at a crappy place for lunch, and it ended up being expensive.

After the crappy lunch, we toured the city some more. We did happen upon a really cool archeological dig in the middle of town, so we watched those guys work for a while. Lin-Wei wanted a closer look, and against my advice she wandered into the site. A mere 5 seconds later she was leaving after being chastised by about four different archeologists. It was pretty funny.

A potential internation incident was narrowly avoided

And there was naked stuff. We had just finished visiting a local park when we were heading back to the city proper. Lin-Wei had crossed the street ahead of me, but I didn't make it in time, so I stayed on my side. Running up the sidewalk towards me I saw a woman who seemed to have a very loose dress on. It really looked odd and out of place to see her running up the sidewalk. Behind her was her friend who also had a loose-fitting yellow dress on, and as she ran, her, uh... ladies popped out and said hello. Bonus! It seemed like they were on some sort of sorority dare or something. Lin-Wei was oblivious to the whole affair. She was bummed when I told her what she missed.

We were now cold and hungery. The Wranglers began to lick their chops

That night we planned on having a nice dinner at a restaurant recommended to us by Lin-Wei's co-worker. He said there was a terrific place that was way out on the Venetian break-water wall that protected the Hania harbor, and that sounded great to us. To get out there you have to walk all the way to the end of the harbor, then walk along the wall for about 10 minutes or so. When we got there, it was a bit early, so we weren't surprised when it was empty. The waiter (who was hanging out with 4 of his buddies) took us upstairs to the roof deck with the tables. When we gave us the menu... Horror of Horrors, it was just a bar that we were at! No fancy romantic restaurant. As the wind gusted around us, our hearts sank, and I cursed the fine people at Deloitte. The restaurant in question must have closed. We had ordered drinks already, so we sipped those, and I formulated a plan to get us out of there. When the waiter came back, I asked for the bill, and he actually looked hurt that we weren't staying. But, I said that, "the wind is strong, and my wife is getting cold." On cue, thankfully, Lin-Wei began to shiver, but that because she was actually cold.

He knowingly stated that we must have came from somewhere warm and we said, "Uh... Chicago?" But we got the bill, and we found another place to eat near the harbor.

We got sucked into a restaurant near the harbor by the wranglers again, but we actually got to go inside the restaurant and look at the fish. They sell fish by the kilogram there. So, on the menu you'll see:

Bass fish: €60 / kg

And you're thinking, holy fricking crap, we're going to go broke eating here. But you really only eat 1/4 or 1/3 of a kg, so it is actually a lot cheaper. So we ordered fish, and asked if we could have rice instead of the french fries. I think we BEGGED for rice, actually, but the dude said that there was no rice.

The view from our restaurant, of the place that wasn't our restaurant

Our food arrived, and I had two humongous fish on my plate. I mean, they were big! And I freaked out. Because I really did think that it was going to cost me €60 for those fish. While we ate, a group of Chinese tourists walked by, and wranglers went to work. I think it took them 15 minutes to finally get them to sit down at the table. It was a fine piece of wrangling. But one of the conditions of the Chinese group was that they wanted rice with their meal. "No problem, you get rice" was the reply.

W-w-w-what!??

I was positive we'd get screwed on the bill now. We must have done something to piss them off. But if I wasn't sure then, I was sure after they brought out dessert. On Crete especially, restaurants will serve up glass of Ouzo, a vile drink that I wouldn't even serve to Vikings fans. Accompanying the Ouzo was a complimentary dessert that I can only describe as candied vomit. Lin-Wei wouldn't even touch it, but I didn't want to offend, so I tried to eat it. One bite, and I almost lost my €100 fish dinner right there. So completely disgusting. So...wrong. We asked for the bill then, and the waiter asked why we didn't drink the Ouzo. One again I was up to the challenge, and I told him proudly that, "I don't drink!" Luckily I didn't have wine that evening... So we waited for the bill. And waited, and waited. And waited. And all the while I kept imagining how much it was going to be. I was positive we were completely screwed. We got wrangled in, had a sub-par meal, and totally offended everyone. The bill finally arrived. My heart beat faster. I opened the book, and my heart skipped a beat.

€37

Hell yeah! Waves of relief washed over me, and I toweled the sweat off my brow with my napkin. Gratefully we headed back to our hotel, and collapsed into bed, knowing that a good nights rest would be key on our hike tomorrow. Hania had other plans, though. At 1am we were woken up to the gentle sounds of some old guy singing outside, probably at a bar or restaurant nearby. Earplugs did nothing, so we had to wait it out. Then, before we knew it, it was tomorrow.

The hike that made the Oracle right